Sibling soliloquy

I often wonder what happened

I often ponder on when it was

That something changed and took you in that direction

That direction with no path

That direction with no direction

That nothingness you dance in
Those concrete streets you are entranced in
Those prison bars you have an on and off romance with

That everything that you are chancing 

With chance after chance after chance unseen

And walking down that street to nowhere, that you've already been down

so many times before, so many times before, SO MANY TIMES BEFORE.

The weight of my heart would sink the moon were my heart tied to it, the way that I am tied to you. Only a few rotations apart, as a child, i'd follow the beat of your heart but now you are collecting scars as often as midnight passes, bubbling on the surface of your skin like burned molasses.

Scars that would make your ancestors cry as i do
So many of them died waiting, struggling, dying, fighting for your liberation 
yet your scars would rival their lashed backs
Your blood pouring here and there, tarmac soaked by your loved one's tears, blowing cigarette smoke through fear, as they watch your deterioration...such a twisted libation.

I've seen your journey, I walked behind you picking you up, loved, walked in front to try to guide your path, stood by your side and held your hand, walked away, come back, talked, pleaded, shouted, cried, sighed
I have tried, I have tried, I have tried and i'm tired but...